Everyone wants other people to like them. We all care about what others think of us and what to be liked. And this is especially true when you join the society in the working world. You will have to deal with how to manage your team, your colleagues, your boss, your employees, your clients, your customers, and even your friends and family members.
When you know how to make people like you, you can then influence them to do their best for you, in a legal and ethical way, of course. The problem with most people is that they do not know how to get people to like them. What the majority of people know is that they need to nice and kind, and smile often to win other people’s heart.
Well, this may be a little too general, here are the 6 psychological tricks how you can use to make people like you immediately. Use them and apply them, and you will the result almost instantly.
1. Build Rapport
Tony Robbins, one of the most famous success coaches in the world said in many of his seminars that in order to get people to like you, you must learn to build rapport.
The dictionary defined rapport as having a close and harmonious relationship in which the people or groups concerned understand each other’s feelings or ideas and communicate well. In a nutshell, a rapport is where you can the other party understand and like each other. It is a two-way communication.
And how do you build rapport? Well, the answer is to create a feeling of commonality. Understand this, people like to be with people who are like them. Just like the old saying, “Like attracts like”. People tend to want to be with people or groups that share the common ground.
You have probably heard the phrase, “Birds of the same feather flock together”. The same principle can be applied to you and everyone else. When it comes to getting other people to like you, they will seek for the commonality. And how do you create the commonality among each other?
As what Tony Robbins suggested, use the matching and mirroring technique. In a nutshell, this technique can also be known as “copying others”. You become and act like the person who you want to build rapport with. You mimic his or her behavior. When you are talking to someone, try to copy their body language, facial expressions and also their gestures.
In 1999, a research has been documented to prove that mimicry facilitates liking. Researchers had 72 men and women work on a task with a partner. The partner either mimic the other participant’s behavior or they did not. At the end of the interaction, researchers found that participants were more likely to say that they liked their partner when their partner had been mimicking their behavior.
Therefore, use this technique of matching and mirroring to mimic the behavior of the people who you want to build rapport.
2. Express Positive Energy
Let’s face it, nobody likes to be with someone who is negative and often complain, condemn, or criticize others. Dale Carnegie, the best-selling author of “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, said that one of the main factors to win friends and influence people is to never criticize, condemn, or complain. He also suggested his readers be lavish with praise.
People simply love to work and be together with positive people. Think about it, if you are looking for a job and you receive two great offer, one from Google, and another from a company that you have never heard before, which would you go for? Most people will answer Google, why?
Well, the reason is that most people associated highly successful company like Google with high positive energy and visionary. People want to surround themselves with a good environment and positive culture. And if you want people to like you, this is what you must do too.
Always project positive energy toward other people. Only use good words and be lavish with your praise. Will Smith, the successful Hollywood actor once said that he believed in positive energy during an interview. He said that he even wore a shirt with the phrase that says, “Positive energy is part of your job description.”
Therefore, be positive and always radiate positive energy. Imagine the first thing when your colleague gets into the meeting room is to tell you something bad, how do you like that? So always choose to be positive and express the positive energy to the people around you.
3. Be Loving and Kind
This is a common way that most people already knew, but unfortunately, most people do not practice it. It is simple if you want people to like you, just be loving and kind to them.
All you need to do is to start small. Start with your smile and greet them. You do not have to use all your might to help someone to make them like you, a simple loving smile can change their day and they will instantly like you.
More importantly, be real. Do not fake your smile or try to help someone and wish for something in return. People can sense it when you are not being real and just appear to buy their liking. To be honest, be real, be loving and kind.
4. Have a Sense of Humor
Another common and effective trick to make you more enjoyable to be around is to have a good sense of humor. A lot of people thought that the sense of humor is a gift and they do not have it, this is not true at all.
Being humor is a skill and it can be learned. And the easiest way to become humor is to learn about it. You can immerse yourself into it by learning from stand-up comedians, listening to podcasts, and read humorous books. There are a lot of ways how you can learn to be humor, you just need to put in the effort.
Now, you do not need to be funny all the time, so do not expect that of yourself. There are times people love to laugh and there are times people want to be serious. Thus, learn to do it in the right timing and to the right audience. A different audience may require a different humor technique. So get to learn and understand the people you want to build rapport with before you make jokes.
5. Embrace Vulnerability
Most people will hide their vulnerability when it comes to building a relationship and getting people to like them. A lot of people have the wrong perception and think that being vulnerable as being weak. It is really not. In fact, you are the strongest and able to create the most liking for other people when you open up and embrace your vulnerability.
Dr. Brene Brown, the author of Daring Greatly says in her research that vulnerability is not weakness, but the complete opposite, it is a sign of courage when people embrace their vulnerability. When she conducted her research and asked people what is the meaning of vulnerability, the answer she got surprised her. People would tell her that vulnerability is the first date after their divorce, or starting their own company, getting their business listed, taking responsibility for what went wrong, or even facing their wives with a stage-3 breast cancer.
According to Dr. Brene, vulnerability is about the willingness to show up and to be seen when there are no guarantees. And she said that it is one of the purest feelings that can make people trust you and like you. Thus, do not fake up stories and be open. Embrace your vulnerability and start to attract the liking you desire.
6. Compliment Others
In the 19th century, one of the wealthiest people in history was Andrew Carnegie. And it was reported that Andrew Carnegie paid his executive, Charles Schwab a yearly salary of $75,000, plus a whopping bonus of $1 million dollars. Why did Andrew pay his executive, Charles that much in bonus? When asked, Charles Schwab said that the bonus was for his ability to arouse enthusiasm among others and to develop the best in his management team. And how did he manage to do that? He said, “I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.”
If you want to win friends and make people like you, be lavish with your praise. Learn to compliment others. It is free to compliment others and it cost you nothing. However, make sure you do it with sincerity and not to fake it.
When you give a genuine compliment to others, not only that you will make that person feels good, it will also amplify your self-confidence and nourish your self-esteem. The only key takeaway here is that you must do it with sincerity and give your genuine compliment.
These are the 6 psychological tricks how you can make people like you almost instantly. Remember these techniques and apply them to your daily life to influence people and bring out the best in both you and them.