There are bright days, and then there are not-so-bright days.
- The Ultimate Guide to Feel Good
- Stop Putting Yourself Down
- Redefine Who You Are
- Conquer Self-Defeating Thoughts
- Give Yourself More Time
- Avoid Comparison
- List Down What You Love About Yourself
- Build Confidence
- Know What Bothers You
- Be Thankful
- Learn to Offer
- Do What You Have Always Wanted to
- How You Look Isn’t Important
- Do What Feels Right
- Take Control of Your Life
When the dark rises, we end up being too hard on ourselves. We feel like it will never end and begin to lose hope. However, it is then, when we should hold onto hope more than ever.
By containing yourself inside the box of negativity, you build walls around yourself which prevent the healing light from entering your life. As the feelings of hollowness, insufficiency and incapability rise up, we are told that we attract what we think. It’s true! But, the law of attraction is not just about thinking positive thoughts or visualizing your future. It is about feeling good.
Feeling good about yourself, with whatever you possess, and with whoever you live, foster a healthy, happy, and prosperous lifestyle. When you feel good about yourself, like an achiever, you’re likely to live life a little more than others who don’t. You unlock spheres of happiness that were once out of your reach.
And it all begins with the feeling of self-accomplishment.
Of course, nobody has a perfect life. But, it’s all about making an imperfect one worth living and cherishing. Feeling good is all about loving yourself to the fullest, inside and out. Remember, learning to accept yourself as you are is a process, which needs hard work and lifestyle adjustments. You need to create a life that makes you happy and content.
Here, we have tried our best to create a guide that will serve as an entry ramp into the world of self-admiration, self-love, and self-belief.
The Ultimate Guide to Feel Good
Stop Putting Yourself Down
If we had a dollar for every time we put ourselves down, we’d all be millionaires. To be honest, it’s not just you; we’ve all been there. Feeling unattractive, not good enough, demotivated, unworthy, inferior is very common. When we are told we lack in some way, over and over again, we start believing that we are, somehow, ‘less than’.
That’s not true! It’s just a negative enforcement, compelling us to believe that we are flawed and training us to see only our failures.
If you’re in a similar situation, it is time you unlearn old beliefs and retrain yourself to feel good. At first, it will appear unnatural. But, as you change your thoughts, emotions and actions, your mind will follow and your feelings will slowly start to change. You’ll feel awesome about yourself, once again.
First things first, stop putting yourself down, right away.
Redefine Who You Are
How do you define yourself? If you don’t feel good about yourself, a hardworking professional, an average-looking guy, etc. are the probable answers. Believe it or not, it says a lot about the state of your mind and outlook on life. By redefining your identity, you can add to your self-worth.
So next time when someone asks who you are, replace those average adjectives with special ones. Instead of saying a hardworking professional or an average-looking guy, say a contributor, a learner, a great dad/mom, a loyal friend or anything that makes you feel special about yourself. Count your achievements, delete your flaws, and redefine yourself as someone who takes pride in his being.
Conquer Self-Defeating Thoughts
It’s human nature to assess every situation that we encountered in a day and interpret it before we go to sleep. If your interpretations at the end of the day are mostly negative, making you feel like you wasted another day, you need to conquer your inner voice.
Even throughout the day, it’s the little self-talk that we do, which helps us form an opinion about things, people and happenings around us. Your inner voice is a product of your emotions, beliefs, values, and your subconscious and conscious thoughts. Your inner voice, always compelling to stop you from achieving bigger things, is your greatest enemy.
Conquering self-defeating thoughts can be difficult at times as mostly we don’t realize as they take over. Identify negative self-talk as it surfaces, and shut it up! By challenging and intentionally disputing with the negative self, you can alter how you feel about something. For example, when your inner voice tells you, you’re not good enough for something; ask back ‘how about trying?’ Or when it tells you something isn’t possible, ask yourself if your thoughts are factual? And, think of ways to make it happen; but don’t quit.
Remember, the only way to conquer self-defeating thoughts is to replace them with positive and realistic thinking.
Give Yourself More Time
Keeping your loved ones close and taking care of their needs, of course, is important. But, if your life revolves only around others’, you are living incomplete and deprived of your true self. We often forget ourselves in this world where everything (and everyone) seem to be in a rush. This broken connectivity leaves us stranded.
Spare yourself the time to introspect and realize your importance. Make yourself a priority, and do not forget your obligation and responsibility to yourself. Allocate some time every day towards doing things that you love. Spending time doing things you love and enjoy is known to foster self-esteem and feelings of self-worth.
When you take care of others, they feel good. Similarly, taking care of your own self will feel great. The key is to learn to keep yourself before others and you’ll slowly begin to feel better about yourself.
It might feel that everyone around you is happier, feels better, and has it easy. But the truth is, we are all fighting our little battles with self. Comparing your life to someone else’s will only make the battle harder. It will only lead you towards discontentment and lowered self-esteem.
Just like you aspire to live someone else’s life, someone wants to live yours. You need to learn to embrace your individuality. There’s nobody as unique as you are, or has been through the same experiences. So comparing yourself to someone who has been brought up with different life experiences and possesses different talents and abilities seems totally illogical. Moreover, you’ll always find someone who is smarter, richer, prettier, or stronger than you. If you continue to compare yourself, you’ll only find disappointment.
So learn to be happy with who you are and embrace what you have. This will help you focus better on defining your own version of success. Keep your eyes on who you want to become and work hard to achieve your goals. Remember, you don’t have to become like your neighbour, boss, or the “cool ones”; you have to become the best edition of yourself.
List Down What You Love About Yourself
What makes you an amazing person? In a state where nothing makes you feel good about yourself, it can be difficult to fill a whole page to answer this. But it’s important to look for answers – adjectives that define you, your qualities, talents, and any other form of goodness in you.
Force yourself to sit there and make a list of all your qualities. This could include your sense of humour, your compassion, your work ethic, trustworthiness, hardworking nature, etc. Try describing yourself with adjectives like loving, caring, friendly, even-tempered, strong etc. Make sure, every component that you list is sincerely important to you. You can also include adjectives that define your physical appearance. The idea is to put your flawless personality on a paper so you can refer to it whenever you feel low or unworthy.
Adding to this list from time to time will help you discover how you have evolved into a better person. If you have a tough time making this list, seek help from people who know you well – your mother, father, siblings, friends, and co-workers can be great sources.
Keep this list near and consult it often. You’ll begin and continue feeling good.
Low self-esteem and shattered confidence can be reasons why you don’t feel good about yourself. The best way out is to rebuild your belief in self. Remind yourself of how awesome and capable you are. The above-mentioned list will help you realize that you deserve to be confident. Once you start believing that you’re worth it, you become. That’s how the law of attraction works!
Building confidence might take a while and lot of efforts. You’ll have to groom yourself from head to toe, look confident, and most essentially, feel confident. Work on your body language, have better posture and stand taller. Look straight ahead as you walk and not towards the ground. Also, try to sit still and stand with an open demeanour, looking calm and composed. Have an approachable personality to attract the goodness around you.
All in all, your body language should be such that it gives off a more positive and confident vibe. This will surely make you feel better.
Know What Bothers You
You cannot feel 100% good about yourself all the time. Nobody can. Expect to have bad days and believe that it, too, will pass. If you foresee something bad along the way, think of ways to overcome it and prepare yourself for it. Sometimes, it’s okay to live with the bad feels, expecting them to pass. Don’t let it put you down.
However, if you feel that your sadness is overpowering your potential to let it pass, find out what bothers you. A string of bad days can leave you feeling extremely sad. In such a case, talk it out. Have a conversation with someone who cares about you and will be willing to listen to your problems.
Identify where the problem lies. Your loved ones and the ones you surround yourself with can help you find out the cause of your prolonged sadness. Also, catch the signals that your body gives. When your mind is upset, or your mood is crabby, your body knows and reacts. If you have felt low on self-esteem and sad for a very long time, about half a year, consult a professional counsellor or psychologist.
This will help you know what bothers you; so you can get rid of it and feel better very soon.
To feel good about yourself, you need to have gratitude. Unless you celebrate the happiness in your life, you’ll not be able to find any. Be thankful for what you have and know that you’re living a good life.
Make a list of what you are thankful for. Include positive things. For example, if the baby’s cry woke you up at 4am, don’t complain. Instead, write down that you’re grateful for having spent some bonding time with your baby, calming him down. It’s all about finding happiness as it just hides in plain sight.
Being thankful will give you more reasons to be happy and feel good.
Learn to Offer
The most common reason why people don’t feel good about themselves is their myth that they are unwanted or unworthy.
Whenever you feel unwanted, have a talk with your family and friends. They will help you realize that you’re much needed and loved. Also, learn to offer. You can offer sympathy, love, care, help, and much more. When you offer, you feel accomplished. This will help you add to your self-worth and feel good.
Do What You Have Always Wanted to
Maybe, it’s your longing that makes you feel bad. It’s never too late to learn new things in life. If you have always wanted to do something, just do it. It will help you tick something off your bucket-list and it will feel good to have achieved.
Find the purpose of your life and strive to fulfil it. When you hunt for a purpose, you become livelier and take challenges head-on. Boring days are replaced with enthusiasm and the will to live maximizes.
How You Look Isn’t Important
It is a sign of growth if you work your way up perfecting yourself. But if it only revolves around enhancing your physical appearance, you are not really growing.
We all are made up of the same stuff so it doesn’t matter who looks better. We are all beautiful in our own special way. What truly matter are our personal qualities and character. Your self-esteem should rely on your character and not your looks. Work on finding more time for focusing on positive and constructive areas of your life. Instead of wasting time wishing for perfect looks, get on that treadmill and get fit. Chasing fitness more than superficial beauty will help you feel stronger emotionally and physically.
If you spend more time than required thinking about your looks, you are more likely to find flaws even when they don’t exist. This is bad for your self-worth assessment. So, focus on your achievements more than your appearance, and you’ll enjoy a happier state of mind.
Do What Feels Right
If you don’t feel good about yourself, you will face difficulty making decisions. Lack of self-esteem and confidence make a person indecisive. In such a case, remind yourself how worthy you are, and of all the right decisions that you’ve made in the past.
Don’t let loose of your ethical codes and moral values no matter how tempting it is to give up. Instead of considering what could go wrong, look at the bright side and do what feels right to you. Do not let others take decisions for you. Take advices, but don’t let them decide for you.
Time is the only measure of your decisions. Remember that regrets become lighter if you know you took that decision for yourself. So whenever you make a decision, make sure it feels right to you.
Take Control of Your Life
Being in an emotionally exhaustive stage for a long time leaves us with a negative mindset that is hard to mould. However, finding positivity is the only way out. The proven law of attraction suggests that it’s what we seek that comes to us. If you think and talk only about the flaws in you, you are likely to get even more flawed.
Freshen up your perspective. Look for the good in you; the great dad/mom that you are, the loyal friend that you have been, the amazing cook in you, or a phenomenal dancer. It’s you who can rate your abilities. You are in power.
When you worry too much about what others think of you, you lend this power to them. And, you become vulnerable and easily affected by their opinion, which doesn’t feel alright. The best way out is to ‘not worry’ about them or what they say. Take control and regain the power that makes you feel good, truly.
Only you have the power to achieve happiness and work your way to bliss from the inside out. Once you realize that you are completely in control of your life, you will feel liberated and determined to create the life you want to live and the character you want to show to the world. And it all starts with doing more of what makes you happy.