One of the famous motivational and success speakers Jim Rohn once said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” This statement is true because community influences our thoughts, and our thoughts will determine our future. Simply put, the people you mix around with every day will determine your life.
If you want to see a preview of your future, look to whom you are hanging out with. We will become what we think about most of the time, and what we think about it greatly determined by who we spend the most amount of time with.
Therefore, when you spend time with people who are trashing your dreams, telling you that being successful is not possible and becoming rich is only meant for the lucky few, you will be influenced and eventually become those thoughts.
You will begin to believe the doubts and fears from the people around you because we are creatures of habit and our subconscious mind will absorb what we hear, see and tend to think about. This is especially true if the people you mix around are people you love and respect.
And when you buy in and believe other people’s thoughts and beliefs, you will take action and become doubtful about your own success. The manifestation of the belief of doubt and fears will become real. It will become a self-fulfilling prophecy and this will determine your future.
You have to understand that your life begins within you, yourself. If you consistently feed your mind with doubts and fears, you will think twice before you take action. And when you fail, it becomes a proof of your doubtful beliefs. And others will come and use this ‘proof’ to further justify their initial beliefs, telling you that “they are right”.
Therefore, you must learn to prevent and avoid hanging with the wrong crowd. Instead, consciously choose to mix with constructive and positive people who will support you and show you that your dreams are possible.
Hang with people who will uplift you. When you are just a kid, your parents will tell you not to hang around with ‘those kids’ that will do you no good. It is obvious that adults will want their kids to hang around with other kids that they think are good, and they do not want you to hang with other kids that they think are ‘bad’.
Unfortunately, adults only see this with kids. They forget that the same principle applies to themselves as an adult. They don’t question who they hang around with most of the time. And this is one of the key factors why most people are not successful.
If you have a dream, do you believe in people who are living their dreams and thus know the truth about what is possible, or do you choose to take advice and believe from people who are not living their dreams and thus tell you that it is not possible? It is your choice.
Hence, learn to manage the people you mix around with. Learn to understand your environment and your community. They will build you, or they will break you. Here are some tips to help you.
Always be Conscious About Whom You Hang Out With
First, you must understand the people you are spending the most time with. You cannot repair things that you don’t know is broken. Thus, the first step you need to take is to understand and always be conscious about the people you hang out with.
Are you spending most of your time with people who always complain and give excuses? Are you spending your time with people who blame and do not believe in their dreams? Or are you mixing around with people who are successful and who are positive? Are you mixing with people who tell you that your dream is possible and who encourage you to go further? Are you hanging around with people who are living their dreams or people who live in mediocrity and believe in the impossible?
Once you know who are the people you hang out with most of the time, you can then take further actions to either stop mixing with them or spend less time on them.
Plus, you can also start to find out who the optimistic ones are and who have achieved their dreams, so that you can spend more time with those great people who will influence your future.
Spend Your Time With the Right People
This is often easier said than done. Most people are not aware of the types of people they mix with. They are in reactive mode and hang around with people who come along.
For example, most people will choose to mix with their colleagues who are in the same department or who sit around them. They will not question whether the people they mix with are positive or negative.
People will just hang out with the wrong crowd because first, they do not aware of this ideology on the people they spend the most time with will affect their future. And second, they feel powerless because they thought that they do not have an option. This is often not true as we do have the power to choose to spend our time with.
So what types of people should you spend your time with? Choose to spend time with people who are happier, successful, optimistic, and people who are always taking action on their dreams.
You can tell from their conversation. When the economy is bad, optimistic people will say that it is a great opportunity to go into the market as the competition will be weak or any other positive encouraging words. On the other hand, pessimistic people will blame the economy or their employees or their boss for the tough situation.
Besides that, optimistic people tend to talk about their dreams and when you share your goals with them, they will encourage you that it is possible rather than splashing cold water on your face.
Another obvious clue to look out for is whether the person is successful in their field. Successful people tend to be more positive and are action-takers. They walk their talk rather than just talk the talk.
Spend Time on the Right Activity
If you have the chance and you want to improve your basketball skills, do you want to spend time practicing with Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant, or do you want to spend time practicing with a total newbie?
What you do with your time is extremely important in determining your success in the future. When you choose the right activity, you will automatically choose to hang out with the right crowd.
This is simple to understand, if you want to become a tennis player, just spend your time playing tennis and go to the club more often. You will meet with other tennis players and you will become part of the community. And then you can play along with others and improve your tennis skills.
On the other hand, if you choose to spend time going to the bar and drink almost every night, guess what, your chances of getting to know other alcohol addicts will be higher, right? It is common sense, but most people are not aware on this.
Therefore, choose to spend your time wisely for how you spend your time will determine who you get to mix with.
If you often read blogs and visit forums for entrepreneurs and business people, you will get a higher chance to know and meet with people who are interested in business and people who want to become an entrepreneur. And if you spend your time on games, you will get the chance to hang around with other gamers.
So the activities you spend your time on are crucial in determining the people you get to know and get to hang out with. Hence, choose your activities wisely.
Consciously Build Your Network of Right People
The people who can help you in achieving your dreams may already be around you. Michael Dell, the CEO and founder of Dell Inc and a billionaire once said, “In professional circles it’s called networking. In organizations it’s called team building. And in life it’s called family, friends, and community.”
So begin to search for the right people that you want from your existing networks and people who are already close to you. Just be conscious and look around the people you work with, your colleagues, your friends, your family members, your leaders, and even your clients and customers.
Just ask yourself this question, “Are there anyone who has achieved the goals I want to accomplish and are there anyone who is successful in my industry?”
Once you have identified the people who can help you succeed and who you want to spend the most time with, you can then go ahead and network with them. It all starts with identifying the right people.
Start Small and Build the Right and Supportive Network
You don’t have to rush and make hundreds of supportive friends in just a day. Go slow and always start simple.
If you have a successful friend you respect and would like to learn from, you can invite him to a lunch or a game of golf to catch up. The meeting does not need to be formal. In fact, informal gatherings such enjoying coffee in Starbucks can be a great start.
The key is that you have to take action and ask. What if you get rejected? Well, try again because sometimes, people are busy and they have no choice but to reject your offer. You have to understand that everyone loves to help. And if you invite people and tell them your purpose up front, most likely people will agree.
There are plenty of ways how you can build and grow your network of great people and people who can support you. If you are serious about doing this, you can bring it to the next level and get to know an expert through interviewing them. Many successful people build their network of successful people through interviewing other successful people.
Of course, this is if you are serious about getting to know the experts and other successful people who are miles away from your current level.
Always Start Small and Mix with Right People
There is no way you can live all by yourself in this world. You will have family members, friends, colleagues, coworkers, and other people to mix around each day in your life. And thus, try your best to choose to hang around with the people who will support you and are positive in becoming a role model for you.
More importantly, you can always start small by spending less time with people who complain, blame and always give excuses on things. And when you spend less time with negative people, you will have more time to spend with the positive ones.
Immerse and surround yourself with supportive and positive people who want to see you succeed. When you are in a great environment and have a positive community, you will live each day with hope and possibility.
You will be motivated to achieve your dreams and accomplish your goals. You will feel that each day is great and every action you take is taking you one step forward in life. This is the fundamental of success and living a fulfilling life.
Who you spend time with and who you believe is a major factor that will determine whether you are successful or not. Your aim is to hang with people who are loving, believe in you, who will challenge you to go to the next level, and people who will inspire you.
Life can be short to mix with people who are negative and who do not want you to grow and become like them. Therefore, starting from today, spend less time on people who are negative and take initiative to hang with people who are positive and encouraging.