Yes, he looked different from the men you’ve dated.
Things started to change the moment you moved in with him.
If he is not criticizing you look, he criticizes your friends. In other words, you can’t move or do anything that would make you happy without him complaining.
Are you struggling with this type of man? Chances are you’re dating a man who is insecure. Insecurity is good. It shows that a person loves you deeply and wants to be with you.
But there’s a small catch…Insecurities can turn an innocent love into hell. In fact an insecure man can wreck your entire life.
If you persist with this man, you’re likely to have your an awkward relationship with your families and friends. Most importantly, you’re likely to feel sad.
Why Most Men Feel Insecure?
Before I reveal to you the 9 signs that you’re dating an insecure man, you need to know why men feel insecure.
It’s true that a man may do several things to show that he is insecure. Chances are, the reason why he is insecure is simple. He lacks self-confidence. He feels that you’ll go away or you’re likely to get laid by another man.
Insecure men need to work on their selves. It’s true that men can get insecure or jealous, from time to time, but if it is too much. It’s going to affect how you live with him.
What I’ve come to understand is that men who are insecure, never feel good about themselves. And the reason they feel it is because they want to compare themselves with other men.
Unless they understand that they are unique and can’t compete with anyone. They’ll never appreciate themselves.
The question is…. What are the signs that your boyfriend is insecure…..
Constantly Checks Your Phone
A guy who will wake up at wee hours of the night just to snoop your phone is an insecure man. He thinks that they are other men who are hitting you.
All he wants is to find out the person you are flirting and lights the fire up. Checking of a lady’s phone number shows that you believe they are certainly men who are good enough hitting on her.
Listen, there is a reason why that lady decided to date you. Chances are, he saw something different in you. I know how tempting it can be to snoop girl’s phone number.
Please resist from this temptation, if a girl is meant to stay with a guy he will stay. If they are to gone, they’ll go. Instead of snooping around, believe that you’re better and better a person.
You also have to believe that she is not the only girl in the world. Even if she left, you’ll still find another lady who will love you for who you are.
A Controlling Freaks
If you are the controlling kind of a guy. You’re in insecure. You’re either worried or have fear that she may go. So the logical steps come back to watching every move that she makes.
A guy who wants to be always in the driver seat to control a lady’s life. There is a great chance they will turn out abusive and mistreat them.
How does a man show a controlling attitude? When he wants to make every decision for you. He wants to decide when you should go out, when you should visit your friends.
He wants to take part in your choices of dress, hobbies, your career and even your private matters like finances. He does this to put your own leash. Never let a man curtail your freedom.
You got married to this man, do you think that he will ever change even after you’ve proved to him that you love him? No, he will still be the same kind of man, he used to be.
If he cannot change as early as now, what makes you think he will change in the future. There’s no guarantee and unless he realizes and accepts that he is insecure.
He does something small like washing the dishes and buying you gifts and he instantly deserves validation. In other words, he wants you to say ” thank you for doing that, this is thoughtful of you.”
While when you do the same thing, rarely does he utter a word. A man who seeks praise every now and then, is a turn off to women.
A man with a strong self-confident doesn’t need approval and validation from outside. He knows that already. A guy with a low self-esteem always seeks approval from others, because he believes that his sources of happiness comes from others.
The truth is..such an insecure man will never progress in life. He will always find people to be his source of unhappiness. A great man finds validation from within.
Bringing Up Your Ex
In any every nasty conversation that you have with him, he is always bringing your ex up. He thinks and feels that you’ll run to him the moment you’re fed up with him.
The points is, he wants reassurance that you’re still there for him. That you want to run away.
There is nothing awful like having a guy who constantly brings up your ex in every piece of conversation that you have. Chances are, you’re over your ex, but he brings him up whenever his insecurity creeps in.
The problem with your man is that he is not willing to let it go that you dated someone before him. It pains him so much because he is trying so hard to be better than your ex.
Most importantly, he thinks that you would dump him like you dumper your ex. If you have such a man, it is better to show him the doors out of your relationship if he not willing to change.
Takes Advantage Of Your Free Time
Besides commuting to work, going to the grocery and church, you’re not allowed to even hang with your girlfriend. The worst part is, it is impossible for you to even visit your sister or brother.
You sleep together, stay together, eat together, watch movies together and even go to church together. Still, that is not enough to show him that you’re there for him.
A man who doesn’t want you to enjoy gossip with your girlfriend, is an insecure man. If you go that route pleasing him, you’ll find yourself unhappy and lonely in life.
Cheers, life is not a rehearsal and we all only live once. You have no business spending the rest of your life with a man that whines and cry every time you spend your free time.
Yes, you’re supposed to be spending every waking moment with him as a sign of love. Sometimes, you’ll need time to think about life issues and your personal goals in life.
How would achieve that if he is always penetrating in your space. Listen girl, talk to your man about this behavior and if he doesn’t change. You can always leave him, there are better men who will love and give you free space in life.
Lacks Hobbies, Passions and Friends
Most men that are insecure have no hobbies or passion that they are striving for. Men are known to be creatures that have different hobbies from sports, drawing, hanging out with friends, hiking, writing, outdoor activities and so on.
If he is insecure chances are, he has nothing of his own that he is focusing on. And now all that he has is spending lots of energy picketing every flaw that you have.
Most importantly, he has zero people who he can call or visit as a friend. In his life, you’re the only person that he has known so far.
Whether you have your own hobbies or not, he will always try to fix himself with your hobbies. He may at times criticize what you’re doing or showing you how to do it better.
Let’s say that you like drawing. You draw beautiful cartoon and arts as a side hustle. He will go to find a nice drawn cartoon and tease you in a way that demeans your creative skills.
Instead of appreciating you, he will look down upon what you’re doing because you don’t measure up. It will be great if he offered you suggestions, but now he is directing you. Such a man is insecure, he has now placed in your heart.
Insisting That You Want To Cheat On Him
Every time you feel like going out…sometimes it may be that your boss needs you to work overtime. He says that you plan to cheat on him.
The worst part is that you can’t even have a girl out because he believes you’ll cheat. He doesn’t believe that you have good intentions to him.
A person having thoughts like maybe that his ex cheated on her in the past. And he can’t let go. He feels that you’ll always cheat on him, which is not true.
You’re a human being and humans are social animals. There is no way you can live with a man who decides to cage you. A man who wants to limit your freedom because of unfounded beliefs.
Has Choices Over Your Dress Code
If there is one thing that you’ll hate about an insecure man is that he will always want you to look like a 90-year old grandma.
Don’t let this happen to you? Don’t change your code of dress because of a man. If you allow him, the next time, he will tell you to change the type of pants that you put on.
As a lady, you need to be presentable. Your cloth reflects what the outside world perceives you. It’s your duty to look elegant in every occasion. You don’t need somebody to dictate how you look in a dress.
Let the man love you the way you are, not the way he wants you to be.
Talks About His Previous Relationship
An insecure man will always remind you of the previous relationship that he had. He will tell you how the last girlfriend was the one that was responsible for everything.
In his breakup story, he is always the innocent guy that is left broken. That may be true for a fact, that his exes dumped on.
But here’s the reality, a guy who constantly blames other people instead of taking responsibility in his action is not a good man. Chances are, he will leave you heartbroken.
He’s probably, telling you the story of his past girlfriend to make you feel guilty. And when you feel guilty, you’ll feel the need to do everything to please him.
A Word Of Caution:
You don’t deserve an insecure man. You need a man that feel confident about himself. A man that understands that you choose him for the right reasons.
A man that will give you support when you need him most not through insults and threats at you. The classic mistakes that women make in a relationship is thinking that this man will change. You have to accept the fact that he will never change.
You may marry him to prove how you love him, you will still end up sobbing in tears every single day in your life. The early you leave him, the better for you.